Written by Maria Elena Critto
At university, while studying Sociology, I learned the theory that “the family is the basic unit of society”. However, in the day-to-day reality of my own life, that phrase has come to mean so much more. From my own experience, I have seen how my home was the central place where I learned and internalised the values, habits, and dreams that later helped me navigate the wider world.
Firstly, the family I was born into filled me with a zest for life and society. I learned how to love, respect, listen to, and care for others; I learned how to seek consensus and how to resolve problems without giving up. It was there that I also learned to prioritise the common good over my own, to refuse to stand idly by when others suffer, and to feel the love of God. I can never truly repay all that I received; but, as my mother used to tell me, the best way to show gratitude for what you have been given is by giving it to others—putting those gifts at the service of everyone else.
Later, Julián and I set out to build our own family. We dreamed of it and worked for it from the very beginning, yet even my highest expectations fall short of the treasure God sent us. In the first instance, there is Julián’s role; I have grown so much alongside him. I learned from his different perspective; he always saw much more in me than I saw in myself. He helped me spread my wings and bring to fruition talents I had kept hidden. His outlook was vital, especially regarding motherhood. Many times, I thought it would be impossible to balance work with raising children, but his confidence gave me the security to keep going during my most vulnerable moments. I remember the juggling act of trying to give my all to both worlds—professional and familial—and he was always there: if I was late, he was home early. He woke up with me during the night and, throughout our first year of marriage, he was the only cook in the house. He brought joy when things went wrong and stepped in physically when I felt I couldn’t go on.
My children are God’s other great gift. What can I say? They are pure light, pure grace, pure love, and unconditional support. When I am worried, they calm me with words like “it’s okay” or a simple hug; when I’m acting a bit “mad”, they let me know! They always have a wise word just when I need it most. To this day, I continue to learn from them—not only about unconditional love, but about life itself. They make me grow in ways that words on a page cannot describe; watching them flourish fills my life with joy, just as seeing them struggle draws out strength I didn’t know I had.
Truly, my family does more for me than I do for them. To give you a concrete example: when the pandemic hit, my high expectations for both work and home life caused me to collapse. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of tasks. They noticed immediately and were right there to help. They organised a “family plan” where each of the seven of us had an assigned daily task to contribute to the well-being of the whole family (cooking, doing the laundry, cleaning the bathrooms, watering the plants and so on). Seeing everyone pitch in for the greater good with such love, passion, and focus—some even singing while they worked—was incredible. Together we talked, shared our anxieties and joys, and grew immensely during those tough days of lockdown. I learned that everything is much easier as a family than alone; even major crises like a pandemic become easier to digest.
In a society filled with so many fears and obstacles to starting a family—whether economic, emotional, or the difficulty of finding a partner—I want to say that it is possible. Building a family is an adventure worth the effort because it ennobles us: it is embarking on a project where ‘we’ triumphs over ‘I’. It offers us a far broader and more generous perspective on life. Although every family is unique and unrepeatable, I have no doubt that a shared and collaborative life is worth it. It is there that we discover our vocation, where we find the vital support to let our life projects take flight. It is where we develop as people and experience our first socialisation; it is the space where we discover ourselves and begin to develop our capabilities; It is there that we gather the strength to move forward.
Living as a family is the best exercise for learning to love more and love better. It is where one finds the support to keep going in the darkest moments, and where hope opens up to the transcendent, to God. Despite the fears I always had, it is worth leaping in pursuit of a greater good and keeping one’s focus in the right place. A family is not a perfect ideal, but a real construction of effort and overcoming obstacles, filled with joys and tears, mistakes and constant learning. It is built with patience, listening, communication, and a profound respect—loving the other exactly as they are, prioritising their well-being, and giving them the necessary time and care. The happiness a family gives us is an invaluable treasure beyond words; it doesn’t just transform us, it acts as a catapult for the growth of the whole of society.
